Struggles Of The Heart
by sweetcrimefighter
Summary: Haley James and Nathan Scott got married when they were 16. But a year later, something happened and she left town and eventually filed for divorce. Now, 5 years later, she comes back to Tree Hill, with a suprise. Please read and enjoy!
1. Home

_**Summary : Haley James and Nathan Scott got married when they were 16. But a year later, something happened and she left town and eventually filed for divorce. Now, 5 years later, she comes back to Tree Hill, with a suprise.**_

**Struggles Of The Heart**

**Home**

She had just left New York, their home for the past 5 years and was driving a long drive to Tree Hill, her home town. She hadn't been there or talked to anyone in over 5 years. Things were so different now, she wasn't a 17 year old married girl in turmoil with her feelings anymore. No, now she was a 22 year old divorced mother.

She looked at Jamie, sitting in his children's seat, sleeping. He had his father's eyes, his uncle's hair and his mother's eyes. She never imagined on going back there, but the more Jamie asked about his father, the more she knew it was unfair to him that he never knew his father because of her doing.

So, after much deliberation, she decided to move back to Tree Hill. She had already found a job there as an English teacher in the high school. She had bought a place by the beach, it wasn't cheap, but after selling her place in NY and some of her stuff, she could afford it.

She hadn't called him, he had no idea she was coming back or that he had a son. She never told him why she had left. Back then, she thought it was her only option, that she had no other choice. She had regretted it from day one, but she did it for him and he could never know the real reason.

"Mumma ? Are we there yet ?" Jamie, who had just woken up, asked, rubbing his eyes in the process.

Haley looked back for a second at her son and smiled.

"Not yet. We still have to drive a while. Go back to sleep." Haley said to her 4 year old son, almost 5 years. She loved him to death. She looked back again and saw Jamie had closed his eyes again. She smiled, he was such a sweet sweet kid.

She dreaded seeing him again. She loved Nathan with all of her heart, after all these years, she's still not over him. She knows it's her own fault that they're not together anymore, she left, she had now choice, now she had to deal with the consequences.

She drove for hours untill she finally reached the sign that said _**Welcome To Tree Hill**_. All she wanted to do was turn around and go back to the life she had known for the last 5 years, but she couldn't, she made a promise to Jamie. She promissed him he'd get to meet his father. She owed that to him and to Nathan.

The only thing she could do was postpone the moment she had to see Nathan. She had no idea how he would react to the fact he had a son. But she didn't think he'd react well to the news. She knew he was still living in Tree Hill, she had no idea what he did for a living, but she had informed, so, she knew.

She had decided to go by the school first, to go see the principal, inform about her class, since she started next monday. It was friday today, so she knew the school was open. It was only 1.45 pm.

She drove up the parking lot of the school and parked her car. There were some students outside, probably students who had a free period now. She got out of her car, opened the back door and woke up Jamie.

"Jamie, sweety, wake up." She said, gently rubbing his hands, Jamie slowly opened his eyes.

"Is daddy here ?" Jamie asked as Haley helped him out of the car, she softly smiled at him as she bowed down so her eyes met his eyes.

"No, daddy's not here. Mommy has to do something for work, it may take some time. It could be that we're going to see daddy tomorrow." Haley said, Jamie's smile dissapeared.

"But I wanna know what my daddy looks like." Jamie said as he sighed, he had never seen a picture of his father, because Haley hadn't taken any pictures with her, to make it easier on her.

"You will, I promise. Come on, let's head inside, I'll try and be quick." Haley said as she stood up and took a hold of Jamie's hand.

Haley and Jamie walked inside the school, thankfully Haley still knew where the principal's office was. They walked through halls for several minutes untill they reached the door of the principal. Haley instructed Jamie to sit down on a chair near the office.

"Okay, so I'll try to be quick. Just wait here for me, and if anything's wrong, just yell really loud okay ?" Haley said, she never wanted to leave Jamie alone for too long. When he was 3 years old, she had had a nanny, but it turned out she was some crazy woman who tried to kidnap Jamie. Luckily, she's locked up now, but Haley still worries a lot.

"I will momma." Jamie said, Haley smiled and brushed her nose against his, it was a thing they did.

"I love you, James Lucas Scott." Haley said, she almost always said his full name when she said she loved him, Jamie smiled.

"I love you too, momma." Jamie said as Haley gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"I'll be right back." Haley said before she knocked on the door and walked inside.

"Ah, Mrs. Scott, it's a pleasure to see you again." Principal Turner, who had stood up from behind his desk to shake Haley's hand, said.

"It's just Mss. Scott now, and the pleasure is all mine, and thank you for giving me a job on such short notice." Haley said as she sat down.

"You're welcome. We just happened to need a teacher, so I was glad to get your call. I always wondered what happened to you. I'm glad to see you turned out well, that you didn't neglect your studies." Turner said, Haley smiled.

"Yeah, so am I. I thought I'd come by before the weekend, to look over my schedule for my classes." Haley said, Turner smiled, walked over to his file cabinet and started to search for some papers.

Meanwhile, Jamie was still waiting outside, he was so bored. He wanted to play or do something, he hated sitting still. He looked at the door his mother had gone through, he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it, he stood up and started to walk around the school.

It wasn't too long before Jamie found himself lost in the big school. He had forgotten where the door was that his mother had gone through. He looked around him and found he was scared. He didn't know where he was, he started to walk faster.

He finally stopped before two big doors, which had a sign on them that said it was the Gym. Jamie pushed hard against one door and walked inside. He saw a lot of teenage boys in blue jersey's playing basketball. He loved basketball.

He just forgot all about the fact that he was lost in the school and started watching the game. Two men, a little older than the boys playing, were giving them advice on how to improve their game. Probably the coaches.

A whistle went of, Jamie startled a little bit.

"Come on guys, you're gonna have to do much better than that if you want any chance at the State Championship this year !" A dark haired male said as he looked at his team.

"If you're not giving all you have, you don't stand a chance. I want 20 suicides from all of you, maybe that'll knock some sence into you!" Another male said, he had dark blonde hair. Both of the coaches were wearing a suit.

The blonde haired man blew his whistle again and all the boys started to run. He was watching them when he felt someone poke him in his side.

"What ?" he asked, annoyed when he looked at his brother, Nathan Scott.

"Look." Nathan said, pointing at the doors, now Lucas saw it too, there was a small boy standing there, watching them. Lucas wondered where his parents were. He and Nathan walked over to Jamie and bowed down so they were at equal height as the boy.

"Hey kiddo, what's your name ?" Lucas asked as he smiled at Jamie, he didn't know why, but the boy seemed strangly familiar to him.

"Jamie, I think I'm kind of lost." Jamie said as he looked from Lucas to Nathan. Nathan felt a strange connection to this kid, as if he knew him from somewhere. He just brushed it of.

"Where are your parents ?" Nathan asked as he looked around to see if anyone was looking for them.

"My momma's with the principal, I forgot where." Jamie said, Lucas smiled as did Nathan.

"Ah, we know where it is. Euh, we'll take you there." Lucas said and he took a hold of Jamie's hand. Lucas blew his whistle once again.

"Listen up, we're going to the principal's office, we'll be back as soon as possible. I want to see everyone playing one on one games when I get back. No fooling around!" Lucas yelles, everyone yelled _'Yes Coach!' _and with that Lucas and Nathan headed out to the principal's office,

Haley had finished discussing everything with the principal, he opened the door for her and she walked outside, but froze when she saw Jamie wasn't where she left him.

"Jamie ?" She called out, the principal still standing behind her.

"Are you looking for someone ?" He asked, Haley sighed, she hadn't told him about Jamie either.

"My son, he was sitting here, now he's gone. Crap, Jamie ?!" Haley yelled out again, but she didn't see him anywhere. She then decided to go inside the classes, to see if Jamie was there.

"Have you seen a small boy, blonde hair, 4 years old ?" Haley asked, she couldn't imagine that Charlotte, the crazy nanny, had gotten out of jail and followed them. When the suprised teacher said she hadn't seen anyone, Haley tried all the other classes.

Quickly, she was rushing in every class, looking for Jamie as most of the classes had come outside to see what the comotion was about.

Jamie, Lucas and Nathan were almost at the right corridor when they heard a voice screaming Jamie's name.

"Momma." Jamie smiled as he ran around the corner, when he saw his mother, he ran over to her.

"Jamie!" Haley called out when she saw Jamie running towards her, she grabbed him in a hug, almost crying.

"Don't you ever, every do that again! You had me so worried." Haley said as she hugged Jamie.

Meanwhile, Nathan and Lucas saw who Jamie's mother was now too. Lucas was shocked as was Nathan.

"Haley ?" He asked, in disbeliefe, he hadn't seen her since she had left him. He had never gotten over her or the pain she had caused him.

When Haley heard the voice, she knew all to well who it was. She let go of Jamie, but still holding his hand, and looked at Nathan and Lucas.

"Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that Nathan is a basketball coach here, I hope that won't be a problem ?" Turner asked, Haley shook her head and told him it was fine. With that note, Turner sent the students back into their classes as he himself headed back to his office.

Once everyone was gone, and it were just Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Jamie standing there, Lucas sighed and walked over to Haley, he gave her a small hug.

"I missed you." He said, which was very true, but he was also angry at her for leaving and never saying goodbye to him or anyone or never even calling.

"Yeah, me too." Haley said as Lucas let go of her again.

"What are you doing back here ?" Nathan asked, still in shock, stunned.

"I'm a teacher here now, 12th grade english." Haley said, she saw Nathan's eyes moved from her to Jamie.

"You have a son now ?" Nathan asked, he looked at Jamie and now realized what that strange feeling was about, he saw a part of Haley in him.

"Momma ? Who are these men ?" Jamie asked as he tugged at her shirt and looked at Nathan and Lucas.

"Jamie, that blonde mister is Lucas and that handsome man is Nathan." She said, knowing that Jamie would put two and two together. Jamie looked like Nathan, Nathan was the name of his father, he knew. He also knew, his middle name was the name of his uncle.

"But momma, then..." Jamie began, but Haley interupted him.

"Yeah, that's right." Haley said as she took his small hand and walked over to Nathan and Lucas, who had rejoined him after he had hugged Haley.

"Jamie, this is Nathan Scott. Nathan, this is James Lucas Scott, you're son." Haley said, Nathan turned completely white as he looked from Jamie to Haley.

"What ?" Lucas said in shock, he was the first one to say anything in over 5 minutes. Haley stayed quiet, she didn't know what to say as Jamie was looking at his father very carefully, he wanted to take him in completely. Nathan was about to try and formulate any sort of words when he got interrupted by a yell.

"Coach Scott ! Coach Scott ! You guys gotta come, Quentin and Jason are kicking the crap out of each other!" A young, 16 year old boy named Conner yelled as he came rushing to Nathan and Lucas. He was one of the players on the basketball team. Lucas and Nathan looked at each other, Lucas nodded.

"I got this, you have some things to discuss." Lucas said before running of with Conner, to the Gym.

"Hi... Jamie, right ?" Nathan said, he couldn't bare to look at Haley, he was so angry at her right now. He was still angry for leaving him, he was angry for not telling him he had a son and he was angry she was here with him now.

"Yeah, you're my daddy, right ?" Jamie asked in a very cute manner, Nathan smiled, even though he was still shocked and could hardly believe that the cute boy standing before him was his son.

"Yeah, Jamie, I guess I am." He said as he rubbed Jamie's hair, but then turned his attention to Haley, showing his anger.

"We need to talk." Nathan said, Haley could hear the bitterness in his voice as she knew the only reason he wasn't yelling was because of Jamie.

"Not here, not with Jamie." Haley said, Nathan looked from Jamie to Haley and nodded.

"Lucas can look after him for a while." Nathan said.

Haley, Nathan and Jamie walked towards the gym, Jamie was holding Haley's hand but also Nathan's hand. It felt very strange to Nathan, he, Nathan Scott, had a son. He didn't know what to think of it really, his mind was on overdrive. Finally, after what seemed like an endless walk, they reached the gym. As they walked inside, they saw Lucas yelling at two boys with bruised faces and bloody noses, Quentin and Jason.

"You have got to stop acting like rivals and start acting like a team! Fighting isn't getting you anywhere, if I would report this, you are both expelled! I'll let it slip, this time. But I swear, if this happens again, you're off the team! Got it ?! Now hit the showers and head to your next class!" Lucas yelled as the boys nodded and took of to the locker rooms.

"Lucas !" Haley called out for him, Lucas looked around, saw Nathan, Jamie and Haley and walked towards them.

"Nathan and I need to talk. Could you watch him for a while ?" Haley asked, Lucas smiled and nodded.

"Sure, you can come pick him up at my place tonight, Peyton will love him." Lucas said, Haley was shocked to hear he was with Peyton now, last time, he was madly, deeply in love with Brooke.

"Peyton ? What happened to Brooke ?" Haley asked, she knew she and Nathan had to talk, but anything to postpone it for just a little while was good.

"Long story. Peyton and I got together senior year. We've been married for two years now and yeah, Brooke's okay with it." Lucas said, giving her the short version without all the drama in between.

"Okay, euh, here's my cell number, text me the adress." Haley said as she gave Lucas a card with her number on it, Lucas nodded. Haley bowed down to face Jamie.

"You're gonna go with Uncle Lucas for a few hours, okay ?" Haley asked Jamie, Jamie nodded.

"Okay, I love you, give me a kiss." Haley said, Jamie gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before going to Nathan and giving him a hug, which kind of threw him off guard.

"Okay, let's go." Haley said before thanking Lucas and taking of with Nathan. Haley gave him the adress of her new place, they were going to drive in seperate cars to her house.

All during the ride Haley couldn't think of anything else but how mad Nathan was going to be at her. She didn't want to face him at all, she knew he'd ask her about why she left and that was one thing she would never be able to tell him.

Nathan's heart was racing as he drove over to Haley's house. Haley, the woman he hadn't seen in over 5 years, but whom he still loved. He hadn't had a serious relationship since she left, yeah, he had had some flings, but no one he really cared for. He wanted to tell her how much he had missed her, but knew that would be impossible, he was simply to angry at her to do that. She had betrayed him in more ways than one.

Haley was already sitting on the couch, the house had came with furniture, when the bell rang. Haley swallowed, before getting up to let Nathan in. She asked him if he wanted to sit, but he refused, he seemed to be taking some time to find his words.

"Why did you come back here ?" Nathan asked, giving her the impression that he never wanted to see her again, which was wrong. Haley was hurt, but she understood.

"Jamie wanted to know who his father was. I figured I owed him that... and you." Haley said, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. She loved his eyes, she always had, they were the first things she had ever noticed about him.

"Jamie, let's talk about him. Why didn't you tell me I had a son ? Didn't you think I had the right to know ?" Nathan said, trying his best not to yell. He wasn't that person anymore, he wasn't that person who just started yelling everytime something went wrong, he had changed.

"Off course you deserved to know. I... honestly, I don't know why I didn't tell you. I'm sorry, I really am." Haley said, she was trying so hard to fight back tears and just break down and tell him everything. She knew he would understand then, but she couldn't, she was too ashamed she had let it come so far.

"Well, it's a little late for sorry. Breaking my heart wasn't enough, you had to my right to know my own son from me too ?" Nathan said, his voice choked, he was angry and hurt and all he wanted to do was yell or break something, but he didn't.

"I know you must be so angry with me right now and you have every right to be. But my... our son wants to get to know his father and I hope you'll spend some time with him, get to know him." Haley said as she know looked into his eyes for the first time. She felt her heart melt as she fell inlove with him all over again, not that she ever stopped loving you.

"I want to get to know my son, I do. But we'll have to find someone to communicate through, cause right now, I don't want anything to do with you." Nathan said, knowing that was a lie, but still, he said it. As he headed to the door, but before he did, he turned around to face Haley.

"Why did you leave ?" He asked, he needed to know, he needed to know what had went wrong. Haley sighed, now came the part where she could either tell him everything or lie.

"I was young and scared. I was stupid, I have no other explanation for it. I'm sorry." Haley said, deciding to go with a lie instead of the truth. Nathan sighed and walked out of the house, right at the time Haley's cell phone went of, it was a text message.

_**My adress is at Palm Drive 23. Jamie's fine, he's having a blast with Peyton. Come for dinner around 7. Lucas.**_

Once she had finished reading the message, she looked at her watch, it was only 3.45 pm. She sighed, not knowing what to do now. She decided that shopping was a good remedy for her heartache. Usually, she didn't have much time to shop, because of Jamie, but since he was safe with Lucas now, she looked forward to spending a few hours by herself.

She got in her car and started driving around. She suddenly realized she was really hungry and since dinner was still hours away, she needed a good snack. She decided to go to Karen's café, where she and Lucas had practically grown up, since Karen was his mother.

But once she got there she was suprised to see that the café was gone and had been replaced by a clothing store named _**Clothes Over Bros**_. She didn't know who owned it, but it looked cute and she wanted to see it. Even if it wasn't a café anymore, the memories were still there.

She stepped out of her car, walked to the store and headed inside. She was suprised, it was very beautifull, and even Karen's sign was still hanging above the counter. The sign that Haley loved so much.

_**'Somebody told me that**_

_**this is the place where**_

_**everything's better and**_

_**everything's safe.'**_

"Well, if it isn't our very own runaway wife, Ms. Haley James Scott." Haley heard a voice say, she didn't see who it was at first because she was looking up at the sign, but she recognized the voice. She looked at the entrance behind the counter and saw no one other than Brooke Davis standing there.

"Peyton told me you were back... with a son, haven't we been busy over the years ?" Brooke said, raising her eyebrows at Haley. She wasn't too pleased with her return, no one really was, she left quite a mess when she left Nathan without any explanation.

"Jamie is Nathan's son and it's nice to see you too Brooke." Haley said, not really feeling the love. She knew everyone was gonna be angry, but she didn't know they were all going to hate her. Even Brooke, whom she had gotten pretty close to before she left. She, Brooke and Peyton had gotten all pretty close.

"Oh, Nathan's kid, how about that. And, if it were nice to see you, I would have said it. You destroyed a lot when you left town, and the rest of us were stuck picking up the pieces. And now you come back with a son, Nathan's son. I mean, god, you should have told him Haley." Brooke said, she was never afraid to speak her mind, that was one of the things Haley admired about her.

"I know, and I'm really sorry. I know I can't just come back here and magicaly make everything right again, but I have to try, for Jamie. I hope you can at least understand that." Haley said, again, trying her best not to cry, she knew she had no right to.

"That, I understand. I get it, you love the kid, good for you. But trust me when I say, you've just turned this town upside down by coming back. Anyways, I gotta get back to work, did you want something ? Cause, if not, I'll see you at dinner tonight." Brooke said, Haley sighed.

"Everyone's coming to dinner ?" Haley asked, Brooke chuckled, but not in a friendly way.

"No, just you, me, Lucas, Peyton and the rugrat. They invited Nathan, but he didn't want to come, something about not wanting to ever see you again. Not that you can blame the guy, the blame is pretty much all on you." Brooke said, not holding anything back, Haley didn't want to fight with her, she knew she was right about everything.

"So, you work here ?" Haley asked, she wanted to have a friendly conversation before she left.

"No, I own it. Never heard of the fashion line Clothes Over Bros ? It's my line, my company, a multi million dollar company, actually. Anyways, bye." Brooke said, before dissapearing in the back. Haley sighed and walked outside, back to her car.

_'Oh, yeah, dinner's gonna be a blast tonight. At least Nathan won't be there.' _Haley thought before getting in the car and driving of. Scared of what the night might bring.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Anger

_Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. ~Joan Lunden~_

**Anger**

Haley stood before the black wooden door of Lucas' enormous house. She didn't have to guess where he got the money to pay for it, she had read the book he had published right after high school many times before. She was unsure wither or not she should ring the doorbell.

She knew she had to pick up Jamie, but she could call and ask if it was okay to pick him up after dinner too. She was just so scared of what she would find if she rang the bell and went inside. Would they all be angry at her ? What about Lucas ? He said he missed her, but she could feel certain coldness in his voice toward her.

Lucas and Nathan weren't the best of friends, or brothers in high school, but they seemed rather close now. So would Lucas side with Nathan ? Would he hate her too ?

And what about Peyton ? She's probably still Brooke's best friend and Brooke has made it clear that she doesn't like Haley at all. Would Peyton side with Brooke ? Or would she be nice to Haley ?

Haley sighed, she knew she had to face them sometime, and she promised Lucas she would come to dinner, so after standing outside for over 10 minutes, she finally rang the door bell. She waited for a minute or so before the door opened, revealing Peyton Sawyer. Haley couldn't tell by her expression if she was angry at her or not.

"I was beginning to wonder if you would ever ring the bell. I saw you park your car about 12 minutes ago." Peyton said as she gave Haley a small smile, Haley smiled back. So far, she wasn't getting yelled at, so that was a good start.

"So, you don't hate me ?" Haley asked, hoping she would get a 'no' as answer, because anything else, she wasn't sure she could handle.

"No… Don't get me wrong, I don't approve of what you did nor understand. And yes, I was angry at you for a long time. But I've forgiven you long before you came back. I've learned it's not healthy to walk around with anger in your heart all the time. But you need to know one thing, I don't trust you. I'm not your friend, none of us are your friends, even Luke, not now at least. You hurt us bad, really bad. Maybe in time we can rebuild our friendships, but not right away. I hope you understand that." Peyton said, Haley was a little hurt but understood, she just nodded and tried not to cry.

"How has Jamie been ?" Haley asked, to change the subject.

"Great, he's currently playing a game of guitar hero with his dad." Peyton said, Haley was shocked to hear Nathan was there too. If she would've known, she wouldn't have come.

"Nathan's here ? But I thought Brooke said he didn't want to come." Haley said, she couldn't deal with all of them and Nathan in one night, it was too much.

"I guess he changed his mind, anyways, come inside, it's warmer here." Peyton said as she held the door open for Haley. Haley stepped inside, took of her coat and hung it in the closet. Much against her will, she followed Peyton into the living room.

"Hey, look who's here." Peyton said to everyone to get their attention. Lucas smiled a small smile, Brooke rolled her eyes, Nathan looked to the ground while Jamie's face lit up and he ran to Haley. Haley swooped him up in her arms.

"Hey buddy, did you have fun ?" She asked, she kept his eyes on him to avoid everyone else's stares.

"Yes, momma. Daddy taught me how to play guitar hero. It was really fun." Jamie smiled, Haley was glad at least one of them was happy. She knew they would threat Jamie kindly, after all, he's not the one they're mad at and he's too cute to resist.

"Did he now ? Waw, that's great. I'm glad you had fun. I missed you though." Haley said as she rubbed her nose against his.

"I missed you too momma. I asked daddy if he missed you and he got really quiet and sad." Jamie said, everyone heard what he had said, including Nathan. Haley heard Nathan as he let out a great sigh, stood up and walked to the kitchen. Haley put Jamie down and bowed down so she could look straight into his face. She was searching for the right words to say to him, but she came up blank.

"Is daddy mad at you ?" Jamie asked, Haley sighed, Jamie could always see through people, he was smarter than any kid his age she had ever come across, maybe even too smart for his own good sometimes.

"It's complicated Jim-Jam (her nickname for Jamie). Sometimes people do something which hurts other people. And even though you're sorry afterwards, that doesn't always make everything right." Haley said, she had to keep up a strong front for Jamie, but if he weren't there, she would've long broken down.

"Did you hurt daddy ?" Jamie asked, he was sad that his daddy and his momma weren't friends anymore.

"Yeah, Jim-Jam, I did. And momma's really sorry, and I hope daddy will be able to forgive me in time." Haley said, Jamie smiled a small smile and gave Haley a hug.

"He will. Daddy loves you, I know." Jamie whispered in her ear, so silent only Haley could hear. Now more than ever she had to fight the urge to cry.

"I'd hate to break up this cute slightly nauseating show, but some of us would like to eat at some point… Haley." Brooke said, she knew she was acting like a bitch, but she had her reasons.

After Haley left, everything fell apart, she and Lucas broke up, she and Peyton got into an almost year long fight over Lucas, she was all alone. She needed her tutor-girl, and she wasn't there. She resented her for that, but she shouldn't be taking it out on Jamie, he's just a kid after all.

"Sorry, let's eat." Haley said as she stood up and took a hold of Jamie's hand. And walked over to the dinner table where the dinner already stood on table and Brooke, Peyton and Lucas were sitting at. Nathan was nowhere to be seen. Haley told Jamie to sit in a chair next to her.

"I'll go get Nathan." Lucas said, stood up and disappeared in the kitchen.

"So, Jamie, what was it like living in New York ? Exciting ?" Brooke asked the cutest kid she had ever seen while she ignored Haley. Peyton was friendly, to a degree, but she was very distant.

"Nice, but I think momma was missing home 'cause she was sad a lot." Jamie said as he looked from Brooke to Haley, Brooke was a little stunned, she didn't have words for that. When a 4 year old says his mom has been sad, what do you say ?

"Hey Nate, dinner's served." Lucas said as he entered the kitchen and saw Nathan leaning on the counter with his head buried in his hands.

"What's wrong ? Is it Haley ? Should I have asked her not to come ?" Lucas asked, he knew this would be really hard on his brother, but then again, it was hard on all of them. Haley was Lucas' best friend for years and when she disappeared, he felt lost without her. Now he's trying his best to be nice to her and be her friend, but at the same time all he wants is to yell at her.

"I don't believe her. I don't believe she left because she was scared. It's something else, I know it. I've always known something bad drove her away from me, and I need to know what. I need to know what happened so I can understand." Nathan said, he never thought she left because of him. They were happy together, that much he knew, he had always known that. Something drove her away, and not knowing for all these years, especially now that she's back, was slowly driving him insane.

"I don't know man. I always thought she'd come to me if something happened, but she didn't. She just ran away, I don't know what it was. But I think you're right, I don't think it was you. We'll just have to give her some time to tell us the truth." Lucas said, maybe he and Nathan were right, maybe they were wrong and Haley really did leave because she was scared. He only knew that was he told his brother just now, was something that would bring them both some peace, knowing, that maybe, her disappearance had nothing to do with either of them, but with something completely different.

"Now come on, let's eat." Lucas said as he led his brother to the dinner table. Lucas sat down next to Peyton, who was sitting next to Brooke. While Nathan had no choice but to sit next to Haley, who was sitting next to Jamie.

Once everyone was served, they began to eat. No one said anything to each other, you could hear someone sigh from time to time or feel them glare at Haley or give each other questioning looks, probably also about Haley. Haley didn't look at anyone, she looked at her dinner plate and continued to eat in awkward silence.

"Is everyone sad ?" Jamie asked, he was feeling really uneasy by the uncomfortable silence so he decided to break it.

"What ?" Nathan said as he looked up for the first time, even Haley looked up now, all though she had a pretty good feeling why he asked that question.

"My momma says if no one talks while we eat it's cause they're angry or sad." Jamie said, at least someone was talking now, so he felt a little bit at ease. He always talked at the dinner table, always with his mother, he had almost never eaten with anyone else but her.

But when no one said anything else, Jamie decided to continue.

"Is it because me and momma are here ?" Jamie asked, feeling guilty for the tension in the room, Peyton replied.

"Oh, no sweetie. We've all just had a weird day, but it has nothing to do with you. We promise." She said giving him a big smile, Jamie felt more at ease, but he didn't fail to notice that she didn't mention Haley when Peyton said that. But he decided to let it go and eat the rest of his meal in silence, because silence or not, it was still awkward.

About an hour later, Jamie was sound asleep on the couch as the rest was drinking a little nightcap. There wasn't much of a conversation going on, every now and then someone said something meaningless and stupid. Haley hadn't said anything yet, neither had Nathan. Nathan had been looking at the image of a sleeping Jamie for a while now, Haley noticed.

"He's cute when he sleeps." Nathan suddenly spoke, everyone looked up, rather surprised by this sudden outburst from Nathan, Haley smiled, she wanted to say he looked just like his father in such moments, instead she said nothing.

"Let's play a little game of truth and dare." Brooke said, she had drunk an awful much tonight, more then she had ever drunk in a long while. Everyone knew it had to do with Haley's sudden return. When no one said anything she grinned.

"Okay, I'll go first. Haley, truth or dare?" Brooke asked, knowing this was going to upset her, but she didn't care, she was too pissed off at her.

"I think it's time for me to go." Haley said as she put her drink down and stood up. She was about to pick Jamie up when Brooke spoke again. Everyone looked at the two women in anticipation of what was to come next.

"Fine, truth it is. Why did you leave?" Brooke asked, Haley stood in shock, she had no answer to that question, telling everyone she was scared back then didn't seem to convince them. She was nailed to the floor with 4 sets of eyes locked on her.

"Yeah, why'd you do it ?" Peyton now asked, Haley still wasn't giving a reply to that question. She felt a hot stream of tears run down her cheeks, but was silent. She was moments away from breaking down completely, when someone came to her rescue. Someone she hadn't expected.

"I think Haley needs to get Jamie to bed. I'll carry him to your car." Nathan said as he stood up, picked Jamie up and walked to the door. Haley, who had been even more stunned, came to her senses, rather relieved and followed Nathan outside, to her car.

Nathan carefully put Jamie in his kiddy seat and buckled him in. He stroke his hand across Jamie's sandy blonde hair, it was nice.

He watched him for a few more seconds before closing the door and heading back to the house. Haley had finally found the courage to speak again.

"Nathan…thank you." She said as he turned around and looked at her, he didn't say anything, not even a slight nod, he just turned back around and disappeared into the house. More tears overcame Haley, but she pulled herself together so she would be able to drive home safely.

The next day Haley didn't do much of anything, Lucas had come by to pick Jamie up and drive him to Nathan, now she was all alone in her new big house. She had looked over her lesson plans a few time before she got bored, so she decided to go out in town.

She had been driving a while with no specific place in mind, until she decided to go by Clothes Over Bros, to try and talk to Brooke again. She parked her car across the store,, stepped out and locked the doors.

She frightened when she turned around only to see Dan Scott standing before her. He had the same evil smirk on his face as 5 years ago. She swallowed, he was the absolute last person she ever wanted to run into again. She hated him with all her heart and soul, and it ran deep through her vains.

"Hello, miss. James."

"It's miss. Scott." Haley corrected Dan as he only chuckled, he hadn't expected her to keep the name.

"You kept the name, I'm impressed." Dan said, Haley didn't want to talk to him at all. She was about to walk away from him when he grabbed her arm and started whispering in her ear, so silent no bystander could possibly hear.

Brooke was busy sorting out her window desplays when she looked outside and saw Haley talking to Dan. She didn't understand why those two would be talking to each other, they had never liked one and other since the start. Before she could even blink or think another thought, she saw Dan grab Haley's arm, hard, keeping her from walking away.

She had decided to stay out of it, but when she saw Haley struggling to get free, she knew she had to help her. She sighed, but finally walked outside just in time to hear something very strange.

"Let go of me, Dan! I'm not 17 anymore, I'm not afraid of you anymore." Haley said without ever realizing Brooke had heard that or seen this little scene, untill she spoke.

"Is there a problem here ?" Brooke asked as she started to walk across the street, to Haley and Dan. Dan grimaced before saying one last sentence in Haley's ear.

"If I were you, I should be worried. If not for your sake, then for your son's or Nathan's." He whispered before letting go of Haley and turning to Brooke.

"Ah, miss Davis, a pleasure to see you, as always." Dan smirked as he checked her out from head to toe, licking his lips in the process.

"Bite me!" Brooke replied, she couldn't stand him, no one could. He was an ass and that was a well known fact all over town.

"In time, miss. Davis, all in good time." He grinned before walking away from Haley, who was rubbing her hand over her arm, and Brooke.

Brooke rolled her eyes at Dan as he walked away, then turned to Haley, who was now crying. She wasn't sure what to do, she was angry at Haley, yes, but she couldn't stand to see her this fragile. It was something she had never seen before, it slightly broke her heart.

"A... Are you okay ?" Brooke finally asked, Haley said nothing, she just shook her head. She wasn't okay, she was far from okay. Everything had fallen apart and there was nothing she could do to fix it. She couldn't stay in Tree Hill, she had to run, she and Jamie had to dissapear, again.

"Come inside, I'll pour you a cup of coffee." Brooke said as she put her arm around Haley and walked with her back to her store.

Brooke and Haley sat in the back of the store, taking small sips of their hot coffee, and yet again, not speaking. Brooke was finally tired of the silence, so she spoke.

"What happened outside with Dan ?" She asked, Haley shrugged and said it was nothing, but Brooke knew she was lying, she could see it in her eyes.

"Don't lie to me, tutor-girl. I may not have seen you for 5 years, but I still know when you're telling the truth and when not." Brooke said, she had called Haley tutor-girl again for the first time in 5 years. It felt good, natural, to her and to Haley.

Haley found some new strength from hearing that old nickname again, strength she hadn't felt in years. And it was time, it was time to tell someone, just one person. She had held it inside for so long, she just needed to let it out. So she started to talk, she told it all, every single detail that needed to be told.

As Brooke listened to Haley's story, she understood it all now. It wasn't Haley's fault, it had never been to blame, there was only one person to blame and she wasn't it. She felt guilty for threating Haley so bad yesterday now that she knew the truth. She wasn't angry at her any longer, she admired her for doing the impossible and staying brave throughout the years.

"Tutor-girl, I really think you should tell Nate about this, he'd understand then. He still loves you, I know that, you know that, everyone knows it. He just doesn't understand, but he will if you tell him." Brooke said, but Haley shook her head and said no one was to ever find out.

"Well what are you gonna do then, run again ? That's no life, not for you, not for Jamie." Brooke said.

"I don't know, I'll figure it out. But no one knows, NO ONE..." Haley said as she thought of what could happen if anyone found out. She had to do this on her own, maybe now with the help of Brooke, but no one else was to get involved, it was too dangerous...

_Above all things, never be afraid. The enemy who forces you to retreat is himself afraid of you at that very moment. ~Andre Maurois~_

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. A Man Of Evil

**A Man Of Evil**

_I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury, fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils. ~Euripides~_

Dan Scott sat in his brown leather chair in his beach house, holding a drink of Scotch in his hand, smiling his usual evil smile as he took a sip.

He was furious at Haley for returning, it meant she had more guts then he ever gave her credit for. Getting rid of her this time would be harder, especially since now Nathan knew about the kid.

He always told himself that everything he had done had been for his son, his son who hates him so much already, but that had always been a lie. Everything he had done was to see his son suffer, suffer like he himself had had to suffer.

He remembered the changes Haley had brought to Nathan, if she had told him she was pregnant, he would have dropped everything for his family, unlike Dan himself. He couldn't allow that, he could never allow Nathan to be truly happy.

Now the thing he can't allow is for Nathan to find out the truth, not that it would affect his relationship with Nathan if he found out, because they hardly spoke anymore as it was, no, but because Nathan would be happy if he found out the truth, in time, he would be happy again. Happy like he hadn't been in 5 years. Dan would never allow that.

He had already set his plan in motion, ambushing Haley today was only the first step. The second step had been done too, she was just to find it. And if necessary, he could always bring someone back who Haley probably feared even more than him. Not for her sake, but for her son's.

"Thank you for the coffee and the talk, tigger, but I think I'm gonna go home now, get some rest before Lucas brings Jamie back." Haley said as she drank the last of her 6th cup of coffee, sat it down on the table and stood up.

"As if you're going to sleep after that much coffee. And I'm not letting you drive anywhere, not in the state you're in." Brooke said as she looked at Haley, who was heavily shaking. Not only because of the coffee, but probably also out of fear.

"I have to go home sometime." Haley said, Brooke sighed, that was a true fact. She thought about it for a second, before getting her purse and taking out her keys.

"I'll drive you home, I'll pick you up tomorrow so you can get your car." Brooke said, she hadn't had as much coffee as Haley, so she wasn't shaking at all.

Haley thanked Brooke as they were driving home, Brooke simply smiled. She felt sorry for Haley, she had a tough decision to make, and she had to make it alone. Brooke just hoped she wouldn't run and take her advice and just tell Nathan about Dan. But somehow, she didn't think Haley would do that any time soon. She was scared for him and her son, more then she was for herself.

Haley let Brooke in her house as she opened the door, Haley walked to the living room, never even noticing the letter on the floor near the door. Brooke however had noticed it and picked it up. There was no name or adress on the envelope, it was blank. She walked up to Haley.

"This was on the floor." Brooke said as she handed the envelope to Haley, who was suprised to get mail this soon. She shrugged at Brooke, who was also wondering what it was and opened the letter.

As she read it, Brooke noticed Haley's expression go blank and her face turn completely white. Without asking anything, Brooke took the letter from Haley's hands and was shocked when she saw what was on it.

There were 3 words written on it, and the letters seemed to have been written in blood, it could be paint, but somehow Brooke doubted it.

_**'Murder. Death. Kill."**_

"OMG. Haley, you _HAVE _to tell someone, if not Nathan, then the police." Brooke said in utter and complete shock, she couldn't believe Dan would have the nerve to send this to Haley's house. What if Jamie had picked it up ? The kid would have freaked out, Brooke thought. She sighed as she saw Haley shaking her head.

"No, I can't. I... I have to go, leave Tree Hill. I have no choice." Haley said as silent tears began to run down her face. She didn't want to hurt everyone again by leaving, but she had no choice, she had to protect Jamie and Nathan.

"You do have a choice. You can tell Nathan, or go to the police." Brooke said, she wanted to get it through Haley's head that she did have a choice. She just needed to realize that running wasn't an option.

"The police ? Brooke, Dan's the freakin' mayor of this town, he probably has them eating out of the palm of his hands. And telling Nathan is not an option either.

"I understand that you're scared, and you're probably right about the police. But, if you tell Nathan, then I have an idea. But I can't set it in motion unless Nathan knows. And trust me, if you do this, Dan won't do a single thing to harm you, Jamie or Nathan." Brooke said, smirking, she had a briljant idea, she just hoped Haley would listen to her now. She didn't give time for Haley to respond.

"I'm gonna go now, and I hope you'll think about what I said and tell me tomorow morning when I come get you what you decided. Just promise me you won't do anything untill then." Brooke said as she looked deep into Haley's eyes, knowing she got her curious about her plan.

"Okay, I promise. I don't think Dan would do anything dangerous just yet, he wants to scare me first. So, I'll think about it." Haley said, she figured she owed it to Brooke and Nathan and everyone, well, not Dan, to at least think about it. But the idea of telling Nathan the truth scared her, almost as much as the thought of loosing her son scared her.

"Good, see you tomorow." Brooke said, and out of the blue she gave Haley a hug. Haley felt a little safer as she was in Brooke's arms, knowing she at least had one person on her side, who didn't blame her anymore after she found out the truth. It felt good, comforting.

After what seemed like forever, Brooke let go of Haley and left the house. Haley grabbed the letter Brooke had thrown on the table and threw it in the trash can, not even realizing that it was laying in plain sight, with the words clearly visable to anyone who would look in it.

For the rest of the day, she just layed on the couch, thinking about what Brooke had said. She was still unsure weither or not to tell Nathan, but she had to admit that she was curious about Brooke's plan and how it could help her.

Her mind was so busy she almost had a heartattack when the doorbell suddenly rang, abruptly shaking Haley from her thought. She looked at her watch, it was 8 PM, it was probably Lucas bringing Jamie home.

She stood up, walked to the door and was suprised to see who was standing there when she opened the door. It was Jamie, but it wasn't Lucas who was brining him home, it was Nathan. Haley wasn't ready to talk to him yet, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to tell him. So she ignored him, much to her regret and turned her attention to Jamie after staring at Nathan for several minutes.

"Jim-Jam, I missed you. Come here." She said as she bowed down and stretched her arms out, waiting for a hug. He hugged her, told her he was glad to be home and said he missed her too, but that he also had fun with his daddy.

"Oh, momma, can I eat an ice-cream ?" Jamie asked, he knew she had some in her fridge, if there was one thing Haley would always have in the house, even if they had just moved, it would be ice-cream. The best of the best comfort foods, Haley would always call it.

"Euh, okay, but just a little." Haley said, Jamie cheered and ran to the kitchen. Haley knew it would make Jamie very jumpy and energetic. She only allowed him to eat some ice-cream now, because she didn't want him to feel the weird vibes between her and Nathan, and knowing Jamie, she knew he would feel it.

She invited Nathan in, after some uncomfortable silences, Nathan finally entered the house. They didn't sit down, they just stood there. Looking at Haley, Nathan felt his heart beat faster, his mouth getting very dry, the same feeling he used to get when he was near her. He was falling for her all over again, harder then ever. Being around her, he just wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he forgives her for everything and that he never stopped loving her. But he just couldn't do that, she had hurt him too much. He was only there because Jamie had insisted that he was the one to take him home. He was a sneaky kid, that son of his.

"So... did you have fun with Jamie today ?" Haley asked, trying to break the silence between them, Nathan sighed, but remained silence, stretching it out for several more minutes before speaking.

"Why did you leave ?" Nathan asked, he knew he had asked it before. But he knew she was lying and he wanted to hear the truth.

"I... I told you why I left. I don't know what else I can say." Haley said, avoiding looking in his eyes, because if she were to do that, she knew he would see she was lying and she would just break down and tell him everything. She wanted to tell him, so badly, especially now that she had talked to Brooke about it, but she just wasn't sure if that was the right move to make.

"I know what you told me, and I don't believe me. You were lying to me then, and you're lying to me now. I just want to know the truth. What happened ? Did you meet someone else ?" Nathan asked, he had thought of that possibility for a while now, but he hoped that wasn't the reason she had left, he didn't think he could survive that.

"What ?! God no! No, there was no one else, I can't believe you would even think that." Haley said, shocked that Nathan thought she left for someone else. There was no one else, there could never be anyone else, her heart belonged to Nathan.

"Then tell me what happened ? Because right now, I don't know what to think anymore." Nathan said, he was so desperate for some answers, he was dying not knowing what happened. He had thought he had overcome that feeling years ago, but he had just buried everything, and it had all come back when she came back.

"I can't do this right now. I think you need to go." Haley said, she didn't want to send him away, but she honestly couldn't deal with it right now, she hadn't had enought time to think. She needed more time, she needed to talk to Brooke again.

Nathan was deeply hurt that she asked him to leave, he didn't say anything and just turned around, looking at the floor. He was about to leave when something cought his attention. He saw a letter in the trash can, he moved towards it and was able to read what was written on it.

_**"Murder. Death. Kill." **_

He was shocked, it seemed to be written in blood or red paint, but he didn't think something like that would be written in paint. He bowed down and picked it up.

As Haley saw Nathan bow down and pick out the letter from the trash can, _oh no_, was all she could think. She would have no choice now but to tell him. Yes, she could lie to him again, but what good would that do, he would be able to tell she was lying, and she was getting so tired of lying to him and everyone.

"Haley, what is this ?" Nathan asked, he was horrified something like that would be in Haley's house, his son's house. That was just sick, Nathan had a bad feeling that the letter had something to do with Haley's dissapearance 5 years ago. He never understood how, when he got home, all he found was an empty house, no Haley, only a letter. His mind flashed back to that very moment when he came home from his after school job, longing to see his wife.

_**Flashback :**_

_Nathan opened the door of his small apartment, calling out Haley's name, knowing she would be home already._

_"Hales, I'm home. Where are you ?" He called out, when he didn't get a response, he looked around the house. She was nowhere, not in the bedroom, nor the bathroom, nowhere. Nathan was beginning to get worried, she would always call him when she was running late from the café or tutoring. He got a bad feeling about this._

_He took out his cell phone and dialed her number. He was suprised to find out the number had been disconnected, which worried him even more now._

_He looked around the living room, trying to find a note Haley might have written him that she might have gone to the store or something. And he did find a note, just not one he had expected. He must have read it like 50 times, over and over again._

_'Dear Nathan,  
__I love you very much,  
__but I can't be with you anymore.  
__I had to leave Tree Hill because it was best for me.  
__I beg you not to try and find me.  
__I'm sorry for all the pain this must 'cause you,  
__but it is for the best.  
__Goodbye..._

_Always and Forever, _

_your wife,  
__Haley.'_

_After it had sunk it that Haley was really gone, Nathan had trashed his entire appartment. Only to be stopped by the police knocking on his doors, they had been called by neighboors who had complained about all the noise._

_It had been the worst day of his entire life, and anyone who knew Nathan, knew he had had a lot of worse days, but none so worse as that day._

_**End Flashback**_

Nathan remembered how he got the divorce letters a few months later, crushing him even more then he had been crushed. He had signed them and spiralled out of his control, sinking into a depression. The only reason he had survived that period was because of Lucas, Peyton and Brooke, who had stood with him all the way.

"Haley, what is this ?" Nathan asked again when she didn't answer, she sighed as tears began to run down her face again. She sat down on the couch, Nathan followed her lead and sat down on the couch next to her.

He didn't know what made him do what he did next, but he put his arm around her, pulled her closed to him and let her cry in his arms. There was just this voice in his mind telling him to comfort her, telling him to forgive her, to protect her, because something told him she needed him.

"Haley, what's going on ?" Nathan asked, as he now had both his arms around her, his head resting on her head. He couldn't stand to see her like that, so fragile, so broken, it wasn't the Haley she knew.

Finally, Haley sat up and looked straight into Nathan's eyes. She had made up her mind, Brooke was right, she needed to tell Nathan. She should have told Nathan a long time ago, but she had been too scared then, she didn't have the courage to tell him. So she made sure she had that courage now.

"I need to tell you something." Haley said, she was more serious now then she had ever been, Nathan could tell. He somehow knew this conversation would be painfull, for both of them. But he sat in anticipation, waiting for her to speak...

_All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. ~Arthur Schopenhauer~_

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Author's Note

_**Author's Note:**_

_Hi, everyone. First of all, I want to apologize for the slow updates. I realize that you are waiting for new chapters and I am dissapointing you all. I just want to assure everyone that none of my stories are on hiatus (especially my beloved Twilight stories, but also the OTH ones and the Charmed one), I just have trouble writing for some. I also want to explain why I haven't been writing much lately._

_I just want to say that I love to write; it's my number one passsion, has been since I was a child. And lately I had been wondering; why? Why do I even write? Why do I do something that's not worth anything to anyone? But I realized I was acting stupid (which is nothing out of the ordinary for me) since it is worth something to someone; it's worth something to the people who follow and read every chapter with dedication for the story I write, which is simply heartwarming. I love all my readers and without you, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere near this far with my writing. So, thank you. You'll never know how much all your support means to me._

_And I do it because I love it, it's as simple as that. I guess I had forgotten that somewhere along the way. I just needed a few reminders. I'll never stop writing and I will finish each story currently on my account._

_My main focus stories right now are:_

_Captivity  
__They'll Never Know  
__Concrete Angel_

_It's not because of the reviews they receive or something; it's just because I have them all worked out in my mind. So those will be updated the most, the rest will have slower updates but I will update them. I promise you. And I don't lie; if I make a promise, I stick to it. No matter how hard it may be sometimes._

_So, until I post again (which will be a story chapter). I hope you forgive me for my slow updates and I will work as hard as possible to update more from now on._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note:**_

Hey, all. I know I promised I'd keep updating regularly and not disappear anymore, but there were things I just couldn't walk away from to write a story. My dad got sick, really sick, he almost died. He had to have this massive surgery and it was very touch and go for a while. I've been spending almost all my time with him in the hospital. He's only been home since last tuesday and he still has a lot of health problems we need to be careful off and has 3 nurses a day coming to take care of something still from the surgery. If my dad can get through this next month, through christmas and his birthday (January 1st) okay, then I'm back. If there's another setback, if he dies like they say is still a possibility due to some complications he could have, especially blood clots (he's had them before), then I don't know. I'll let you know at the beginning of January. Again, I'm very sorry, but my family is more important to me than a few stories. I love writing these stories, I do, but they're not the most important things in my life. Sometimes, you gotta set some things aside for more important things, which is what I've been doing these last months. Please bare with me for another couple of weeks, and then I'll let you know the outcome. Then I'll let you know if I'll be back or not.

Lots of love,

Lieselot.


End file.
